(K)Not in third decade

There are very few occurrences in life where a woman reveals her actual age... one of these is the time when the nuptial bells come ringing!

As one matures, the add-on numbers to the age starts giving many a conspicuous thought...For the last three times I have been celebrating my 22nd birthday, guessing it would play its intended trick. Of course, such guesses don't go the proposed way.

Like most career-oriented girls, I too never pondered on the - right marriageable age.

Little did I know that the thinking part was not just my and my parents' headache but that the seniors of the family and the closest relatives had a very central role to play. And they participate so well that you are bound to make a firm decision. A choice that is well-thought-out and practical. Besides, if you are single and not seeing someone, you better be prompt with your pronouncement.

Something like this happened to me the last to last week. My Pishi (Paternal Aunt) from Singapore, had asked my parents to send her my resume which she would further send to a certain Mr. X's family in the same country - The guy is handsome, earns well, is financially settled, and importantly, is typical a bhalo bangali chele (a good Bengali boy)... When Maani (that's what I call my mother) asked me to at least get my resume updated so that it can be sent... I went all puzzled and had almost lost it.

Now, how on earth am I supposed to write a 'matrimonial resume'?

Personal details can add up as my personal assets, Past experience instead of work experience, strengths and weaknesses can highlight strong and weak points on a different association altogether and my dear friends as Referees - with loads of 'I can cook very well with a handy cook' 'Can give utensils extra shine with a nice dishwasher' 'Good at household chores with a maid around' etc ---- and whoa! My resume was almost ready... just that I never sent it.

'I need five more years and a little clarity of the responsibilities involved' - Is what I communicated to my parents and Pishi, plus the package of relatives. They had many questions to ask me but had only one way out -that I should get married before I hit 30. Period. My parents however told me that they'll be ready whenever I am mentally set for it.

Thankfully, it was nothing but an episode to ponder and I did just that.

Donning my parents' cap I understood that it's perhaps important to get married before one strikes the third decade of one's life - for reasons that I seriously don't want to identify with.

-It is usually difficult for a woman in her 30s to conceive and have a hassle-free childbirth.

Besides, a woman if dearly friends with her husband and in-laws, can lead a more satisfying and comfortable life... with the man being equally supportive of the wife's career.

If only I had not known some women in their mid-30s conceiving and giving birth to a perfectly healthy baby,  I would have given it a contemplation right away. Taking off the cap...had started flashing a thousand social obligations.

I don't have a non-constructive approach towards the institution of marriage and its blessings. Just that I am a little baffled over a few things.

-Would I be able to enjoy as much liberty as I have at my parents' place today?

-Would there be an equal division of work ---? I mean, the man also contributes to doing the household chores. Not that we don't have maids... but they don't make it a home. Do they?

-Do I have to 'compromise' on anything - something that I didn't do all these years.

-Would I be able to keep my name as it is - not changing my last name or adding a new one? Well, this one's pretty tricky.

In pointing out my opinion on marriage, please understand that I don't just uphold the pros for late marriages. I believe that a little late marriage can give you that extra time to financially settle down - giving way to your personal and career growth.

'February' being the most romantic month of the year, can be quite a dry month for some singletons like me... since we all have that Bollywood streak in us - pining for Mr. Right... and, we shall never quit.

As for marriage, it will happen when it has to - no age in particular, just that there should be strong emotional and mental compatibility. And, if the cupid's arrow strikes you hard, no age would be too early or late to marry your soul mate.

Maybe, I should plan a tour to Pishi's place this summer. 

Anyway, have a lovely Valentine's Day this Sunday. Please don't get threatened by the anti-Valentine activists.

Published on ibnlive.com 

Saturday , February 13, 2010